Immediately after the Trump administration unveiled its unprecedented $1.776 billion compensation fund, which was quickly and widely panned by members of both parties as a “slush fund,” critics began to wonder who exactly would receive taxpayer-financed checks.

The White House and its allies have repeatedly insisted that there are a great many legitimate “victims” of Biden-era “weaponization” abuses, but this is quickly followed by an obvious challenge: “Name one.”

The good news is, a variety of Republicans have tried to respond to that challenge by pointing to actual people they see as worthy of taxpayer-financed payouts. The bad news is, their list is embarrassingly unpersuasive.

Tina Peters: As part of an exchange on the controversial fund, Vice President JD Vance told the White House press corps last week that the infamous Colorado election denier is entitled to “some compensation for the fact that she was treated unfairly.”

This didn’t make any sense, in part because Peters was convicted of state crimes — the Biden administration had literally nothing to do with the case — and in part because the vice president said she was “innocent” despite the inconvenient fact that a Republican prosecutor convinced a jury of Peters’ peers that she was guilty of several felonies.

Michael Flynn: Republican Rep. Byron Donalds of Florida appeared on CNN last week and pointed specifically to the former White House national security adviser as a great example of someone who was “persecuted.” Donalds apparently didn’t think this one through.

For one thing, Flynn was prosecuted by the Trump administration, not the Biden administration. For another, Flynn, a former foreign agent, twice pleaded guilty to felonies in open court. And in case that weren’t quite enough, let’s not overlook the fact that Trump’s Justice Department had already agreed to give Flynn taxpayer money, despite his scandalous misdeeds. Why Donalds thinks he’s entitled to even more of our money is unclear.

Jim Troupis: Republican Sen. Ron Johnson of Wisconsin this week told Fox Business that he’s “completely supportive” of the White House’s scandalous gambit, adding, “There have been hundreds of people harmed by Biden weaponization, including Judge Troupis.”

This is also a weak pitch. Troupis, a former Dane County judge, represented Trump in Wisconsin during the 2020 election and, according to prosecutors, was directly involved in the “fake elector” scheme that generated several criminal indictments. Troupis has denied wrongdoing, but he’s currently facing state charges that, like Peters’, are wholly unrelated to the Biden administration.

Assorted parents who spoke at school board meetings: Republican Rep. Jason Smith of Missouri, the chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee, told Fox Business that Biden administration officials “targeted parents that were testifying before school boards, weaponizing the government. We need to make sure that people are made whole because of that damage.”

Smith made this argument as if he were describing actual events. He was not. Despite the persistent myth that has long circulated in GOP circles, the total number of parents who were targeted by the Biden administration after testifying before school boards is zero. Whether or not the congressman understands this, there is literally no one to “make whole.”

Reality is stubborn: The Biden administration never “weaponized” the levers of federal power. Republicans don’t want to hear that, but they’ve searched far and wide to find evidence to bolster their conspiracy theory. They have come up empty because there is no evidence to uncover.

The more the party tries and fails to find a legitimate victim worthy of our money, the more it proves the opposite of the GOP’s intended point.