President Jimmy Carter was a man of principle. His moral compass helped guide him — and us — through some of our country’s greatest challenges. Those high ethical standards, his deep commitment to humanity and his belief in the inherent good of people carried over into every aspect of his life, too. The former president died at 100 on Sunday, at his home in Plains, Georgia.
I first met President Carter as a child. My dad, Zbigniew Brzezinski, served as his national security adviser from 1977 to 1981 — from age 10 through my early teen years. They were also friends. My dad was his trusted confidant and jogging partner. I feel so lucky that I got to know the Carter family.
President Carter was a good man, one who was underestimated, faithful, humble and a public servant to his core.
Being part of the Carters’ lives also gave me a front-row seat to history. My dad took me and my two brothers on any work trip he could so we could see the world through the lens of a national security adviser. President Carter always welcomed us on those trips, from a private dinner with Pope John Paul II during his official visit to the U.S. to private meetings with several world leaders.
I even got to go to Camp David in Maryland during the historic 1979 peace accords, which laid the groundwork for diplomatic and commercial relations between Egypt and Israel. The Carters’ daughter, Amy, and I are the same age. I remember swimming with her during that trip and having dinner at the main cabin with the Carter family almost every night.
One evening, President Carter and his wife, Rosalynn, asked me to play piano for them. I was a terrible piano player, but nervously agreed to play a little tune. It was simple and I wasn’t very good. But they gave me the biggest round of applause that I ever heard in my entire life. They were validating, lovely and human. They felt like an extension of my family.
Of course, my dad wasn’t around all the time during those very busy years. One year, my father was unable to come to my older brother Mark’s confirmation, which he mentioned offhandedly to the president when he was away. Carter, in turn, took the time to write my 13-year-old brother a handwritten note.
“Because your father was on a trip to Egypt on a major mission of peace, he could not attend your confirmation ceremonies,” the president wrote. “He and I were very proud of you on this important day in your life. You have every reason, also, to be very proud of your father.”
Mark, who is now the U.S. ambassador to Poland, recently told me he has treasured that letter ever since. “My Catholic confirmation was coming up, and Dad was my sponsor. … In the last moment, Dad had to fly to Egypt to negotiate with President Sadat in what ultimately turned into the Camp David Accords,” Mark recounted. “When President Carter learned that Dad would have to miss my Catholic confirmation, the president offered to serve as my sponsor. … What a decent man President Carter was.”
In the end, my mom ended up serving as Mark’s sponsor — but President Carter’s note and generosity spoke volumes about who he was, and how much he cared for his team and their families.
My other brother Ian (who, by the way, worked in the George W. Bush administration), also has very fond memories of President Carter.
When Ian was a senior at Williams College, Carter granted him an interview for a project he was doing about U.S.-Soviet relations. “That reflected his warmth toward [our dad], as well as an openness and eagerness to engage the future generations,” Ian told me.
And when our dad passed away in 2017, Ian reached out to President Carter to give a eulogy. Carter was on a fishing trip well out of cellphone range. But he drove to where he could call Ian to personally say he would happily share his memories of my dad.
“He did not have to do that,” Ian told me. “He could have easily had his staff communicate that acceptance. It reflected his friendship with dad, as well as empathy and compassion that not all leaders of his stature exercise.”
My brothers and I feel so lucky to have had time with the Carter family. Both the former president and his wife have followed all of us over the years. Most recently, I saw President Carter and Mrs. Carter at my father’s funeral, and Joe and I had a beautiful conversation where Joe was able to confirm some of the stories about me and Amy being mischievous at Camp David. Yes, I may have had issues with a golf cart and nicked then-Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin in the knees.
Because of my dad’s desire to bring us kids with him wherever he went — and President Carter always welcoming us with open arms — world events shaped my childhood. I even named my pet rabbit Bani-Sadr, after the man who would become the first president of Iran after the 1979 revolution. We took family vacations wherever my father had to work during the Carter presidency, including to rural China and southern Ukraine.
Above all else, what I’ll remember is how President Carter put his faith in the people in his administration and those who were around him, including my entire family.
I know my father was so grateful for his conviction and belief in him. There’s a picture of President Carter putting the Medal of Freedom around my father’s neck. I’ll forever remember the look on my father’s face as the two make a visual connection. It’s a look that is a mixture of gratitude, humor and above all else, love.
I will miss Jimmy Carter, the president, the person, the shining example of public service and personal morality. Jimmy Carter was a great man over his 100 years. More importantly, he was a good man. And he will be missed.
